Proverbs 17:17 "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."
All my life, I have been told that I was cold and a "witch" but with a b, I have always been brutally honest and that has not helped me shed this impression I make on others. What surprises most people is that under my confident, rough exterior is a heart full of love.
I love fiercely. Friends, family, pets, whatever, whoever it is in my heart I love deeply. My family saw this is in me, hence the warnings from my mom. She knew that I opened myself up for heartbreak and she tried to shield me and to teach me to be on my guard. As a child and teenager, her warnings fell on deaf ears. She wanted to show me that not everyone reciprocates the love that I freely hand out, that people would see it as a weakness and exploit that in me. For most of my school career, that is exactly what happened.
In retrospect, I can see who my true friends were/are. I am still in contact with girls I have known since Brownies and I appreciate them. I have friends that I have reconnected with from high school that I talk to on a regular basis. I have
made friends gained sisters in my adulthood that although we have been scattered by the military- I love to this day. These are people who have seen past first impressions and have gotten to know me for who I am. They have met me where I am and accepted me, flaws and all. I give them a lot of credit. I, too, have accepted them where they are and for who they are and I wouldn't change a thing about them. I love them just the way they are!
When I was in high school, most of my friends were guys. I like that men don't play games, what you see is (mostly) what you get. You can disagree with them and then go on like nothing happened. Forgive and forget. Girls, not so much! I always felt judged and awkward, knowing that I was not a girly-girl and not one to follow what every one else is doing made me feel set apart. I always had a least one very good girl friend, she usually was a lot like me in that she usually she got along better with guys. Things were fine when I lived in my hometown, it was when we moved 1200 miles away that I really learned some lessons.
After I was married and had my first son, my husband was transferred to the Las Vegas area. He had a few friends that he had known for about 10 years and I had never met. Long story short, I had my first experience with how mean women could be. (Let me stress, I was no angel!) I can remember calling my mom for support and her telling me that I never learned these lessons when most people do because I always hung around guys in high school. I know it hurt her to know that I was hurting and so far away from her. Finally, I began to make friends of my own and things were great... until my mom was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer.
Right before my 29th birthday, I got a call that I needed to come home. I went and learned that my mom's cancer had come back and it was severe. During this time, I received 2 calls from my friends from Las Vegas. They were the last 2 people I ever expected to hear from! I actually turned 29 while I was home. To this day, those 2 ladies hold a special place in my heart. We are sisters, they supported me when I needed friends the most. Out of adversity sisters were born.
I don't keep in contact with them as much as I would like but we do keep in contact. I would do anything for these gals. One of them even gave her son my maiden name to honor my mom, a woman she never even met. She did that for me. In the years since, I have found other sisters, women who I love dearly, who have helped me through some pretty low times and who, I hope, I have helped as well.
I have a friend here that I consider a sister. She keeps me grounded and she is always here for me no matter what. These friendships are truly irreplaceable.
William Shakespeare said it so succinctly, "A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow."