Thursday, November 21, 2013
A quick follow up
Just a few hours after writing and posting about our experience with Zach and bullying, it dawned on me that this could be a teachable moment for him. He just so happened to come downstairs and I asked him if he had been praying at night. He answered that he had, I asked him if he had been praying for the kids who were picking on him and he said yes he had, he doesn't know what is going on in their lives to make them feel the need to act out but it must not be very good or they wouldn't be acting that way. Now I wonder who was teaching who? Not once in all of this did I pray for the kids, nor did I pray for the adults to understand where we were coming from in all of this. I have been humbled. I would love to say that I did that, that I instilled that into my son but that compassion and innate understanding that these are the actions of hurt people, that does not come from me. God did that. I give all the glory to Him.
A Sad Truth
Our family has been dealing with a very common yet sad and potentially devastating situation, bullying. You see, my youngest son, who is 12, is a little overweight but is a very kind young man. Last month he told us about bullying in his classroom by three classmates, involving physical and verbal bullying. During this time, he was slapped by a child on his school bus. No provocation, no argument this child just felt like slapping my son. It was during this time that my son broke down and uttered the words no parent wants to hear, "I wish I was dead".
My son is not alone in this. It is estimated that anywhere from 10 to 30% of school aged kids are victims of bullies at some point of their scholastic careers. Some become bullies themselves just perpetuating the situation. There are studies that link everything from eating disorders to depression to anxiety as adults to childhood bullying. Of course, we have all heard the recent accounts of suicides linked to bullying.
In an effort to ensure that my son would not become a statistic, we immediately took my son to his pediatrician, I found a clinical psychologist for him to begin seeing and contacted his school. We dealt primarily with the vice principal and his teacher directly. We had little success. Finally we were able to get the classroom situation under control, I do believe that there was miscommunication with his teacher and we finally were able to take care of that. Unfortunately, this was not before my son reported to a trusted adult at his school that he had begun to make plans on how he would hurt himself.
The school called in a crisis team and they assessed him on site and found him to be stable enough to come home with us. Of course, I refuse to let him be left alone.; I feel at this point, I can't be too safe. Luckily he was scheduled for an appointment with his psychologist the next day. My husband and I both went with him and he has been in better spirits. I know that for now he is okay but that can change at anytime. This is something that will haunt him for years to come and we as a family have a long way to go to heal from this.
It saddens me to know that there are children suffering in silence, that either they are too afraid to speak up to someone for help or there is no one to listen to them. I thank God that Zach feels comfortable enough to tell us or someone how he feels. I thank God that we heard him. If you think of it please pray for us to heal and pray for those who weren't so lucky. Thank you and God bless you.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2695751/
http://www.childtrends.org/?indicators=bullying
My son is not alone in this. It is estimated that anywhere from 10 to 30% of school aged kids are victims of bullies at some point of their scholastic careers. Some become bullies themselves just perpetuating the situation. There are studies that link everything from eating disorders to depression to anxiety as adults to childhood bullying. Of course, we have all heard the recent accounts of suicides linked to bullying.
In an effort to ensure that my son would not become a statistic, we immediately took my son to his pediatrician, I found a clinical psychologist for him to begin seeing and contacted his school. We dealt primarily with the vice principal and his teacher directly. We had little success. Finally we were able to get the classroom situation under control, I do believe that there was miscommunication with his teacher and we finally were able to take care of that. Unfortunately, this was not before my son reported to a trusted adult at his school that he had begun to make plans on how he would hurt himself.
The school called in a crisis team and they assessed him on site and found him to be stable enough to come home with us. Of course, I refuse to let him be left alone.; I feel at this point, I can't be too safe. Luckily he was scheduled for an appointment with his psychologist the next day. My husband and I both went with him and he has been in better spirits. I know that for now he is okay but that can change at anytime. This is something that will haunt him for years to come and we as a family have a long way to go to heal from this.
It saddens me to know that there are children suffering in silence, that either they are too afraid to speak up to someone for help or there is no one to listen to them. I thank God that Zach feels comfortable enough to tell us or someone how he feels. I thank God that we heard him. If you think of it please pray for us to heal and pray for those who weren't so lucky. Thank you and God bless you.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2695751/
http://www.childtrends.org/?indicators=bullying
Monday, November 11, 2013
So I went and did it again! I started something and didn't finish it, heck I only posted 3 or 4 times last year! Here I am again trying to get this thing going, but this time, it's a fresh start. Just as I was born again in Christ, made new, forgiven. I am forgiving myself for not keeping up with the blog and I this blog will be different. I have so many things I want to share with you! I look forward to sharing my trials and tribulations and triumphs. I also, look forward to hearing about you!
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