Psalm 30:5 "Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning"

   As we enter into this years Christmas Eve and Day, I am remembering those who we have lost and are unable to celebrate God's ultimate gift with us. These days leading up to the day we celebrate Christ's birth are always bittersweet. In moments of reflection, I remember that we will not be speaking to three beloved family members. Even after all these years, I miss my mom, my grandmother and my father-in-law immensely. 
    This year I have decided to give myself one night to wallow and be sad for myself. I say myself because I know deep in my heart that they are home with God and Jesus. It is my own selfishness that leads me to the sorrow that I feel. I know that their pain and misery has all been forgotten and all they feel and experience is the amazing  joy and love of our Heavenly Father. I know I should be happy for them but that old sorrow feed by selfishness takes hold of my heart.
      In these times, I need to learn to lean on God for comfort. I have the habit of feeling forsaken when that is farthest from the truth. In times of misery and grief God carries me, even when I feel this will truly be the end of me, He sustains me. I awake the next day knowing that it is for His will and goodness that I go through the hard times. He has plans for me! He shows me that with Him all things are possible!
    I know when the sun rises over my town tomorrow morning, I will awaken with awe and excitement. My sons will be preparing to sneak looks at gifts, we will do some last minute shopping for our celebration on Christmas Day and preparing our home for our military family. I will no longer have time to feel sorry for myself because I will begin rejoicing the gift that God gave because He loves me.
    But just for tonight, I will cry for my loss, I will cry out for Him to comfort me, I will grieve what I have lost.

 In memory of:

 Catherine Ann Michaud Parker 

 Clive Orin Gustin

 Virginia Beryl Weaver Michaud

I Am Free

Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free,
I'm following paths God made for me
I took his hand I heard him call
Then turned, and bid farewell to all

I could not stay another day
To laugh, to love, to sing, to play
Tasks left undone must stay that way
I found my peace... at close of play

And if my parting left a void
Then fill it with remembered joy
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss
Ah yes, these things I too will miss.

Be not burdened... deep with sorrow
I wish you sunshine of tomorrow
My life's been full I've savoured much
Good friends, good times
A loved one's touch

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief
Don't lengthen it now with grief
Lift up your hearts and share with me,
God wants me now... He set me free.

Anonymous