John 15:13 "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

    It's Christmas Eve, the sound of freedom is hushed, festive lights are lighting yards across the land, families are preparing for the morning's activities and I am sure there are quite a few excited and exhausted children in their beds trying to stay awake to see if they can wait up for good ole Saint Nick.
    If you are not familiar with the term, " the sound of freedom", it is what we affiliated with the Air Force call the sound of jets. Any given night here at Luke Air Force Base, we can hear this sound. Almost every day it is a given. In time, we learn to tune it out but on nights like these their absence is quite conspicuous. 
    It reminds me that in many of the homes in our community, there is a very important person missing. Some are half way across the world, others are half way across our nation but either way a parent is missing this most celebrated of holidays. 
    In some of our homes, the hope that their loved one is coming home soon has been dashed. Just a week ago, six of our own were killed in a helicopter crash in Afghanistan. That is six families that have stopped celebrating and have begun the grieving process. This is a fear of any military spouse or child and this is a very real fear. It could happen to me or my neighbor or my best friend. 
    When I hear of such a tragedy, I pray for the victims and their families. I can not even begin to imagine what they must be feeling. Any time of the year it is difficult to lose a loved one, but I can only imagine that losing someone so close to the holidays is even harder. 
    Though my heart breaks for anyone who loses a loved one, I also know that God tells me that their sacrifice is not in vain. Their sacrifice is the ultimate gift that they could have given either you or I. For they have paid the ultimate price, they have demonstrated the greatest love of all. John 15:13 says, " Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." (NIV) 
    We use the word "friend" colloquially to describe someone we know personally but it is also defined as, " one that is of the same nation, party, or group" (1)  according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary.  God in his great wisdom has given us words to comfort us whenever we may be hurting, even if it is for people who we don't know and will probably never know. He does know that we will come to his Word seeking comfort and relief any situation He is prepared. But I digress, as we settle in to our evening routines and prepare for the celebration of God's greatest gift, I ask that you remember those who are unable to be with their loved ones for whatever reason. I also, ask that you pray for those who are grieving the loss of their loved ones. These six souls lost a week ago are not the only ones we have lost this year and tragically they will not be the last. Until everyone of our troops come home, remember them and their families in your prayers. May your Christmas Eve be blessed with peace. 

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2013/12/17/6-american-troops-killed-in-afghanistan-plane-crash-nato-says/
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/friend

Psalm 30:5 "Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning"

   As we enter into this years Christmas Eve and Day, I am remembering those who we have lost and are unable to celebrate God's ultimate gift with us. These days leading up to the day we celebrate Christ's birth are always bittersweet. In moments of reflection, I remember that we will not be speaking to three beloved family members. Even after all these years, I miss my mom, my grandmother and my father-in-law immensely. 
    This year I have decided to give myself one night to wallow and be sad for myself. I say myself because I know deep in my heart that they are home with God and Jesus. It is my own selfishness that leads me to the sorrow that I feel. I know that their pain and misery has all been forgotten and all they feel and experience is the amazing  joy and love of our Heavenly Father. I know I should be happy for them but that old sorrow feed by selfishness takes hold of my heart.
      In these times, I need to learn to lean on God for comfort. I have the habit of feeling forsaken when that is farthest from the truth. In times of misery and grief God carries me, even when I feel this will truly be the end of me, He sustains me. I awake the next day knowing that it is for His will and goodness that I go through the hard times. He has plans for me! He shows me that with Him all things are possible!
    I know when the sun rises over my town tomorrow morning, I will awaken with awe and excitement. My sons will be preparing to sneak looks at gifts, we will do some last minute shopping for our celebration on Christmas Day and preparing our home for our military family. I will no longer have time to feel sorry for myself because I will begin rejoicing the gift that God gave because He loves me.
    But just for tonight, I will cry for my loss, I will cry out for Him to comfort me, I will grieve what I have lost.

 In memory of:

 Catherine Ann Michaud Parker 

 Clive Orin Gustin

 Virginia Beryl Weaver Michaud

I Am Free

Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free,
I'm following paths God made for me
I took his hand I heard him call
Then turned, and bid farewell to all

I could not stay another day
To laugh, to love, to sing, to play
Tasks left undone must stay that way
I found my peace... at close of play

And if my parting left a void
Then fill it with remembered joy
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss
Ah yes, these things I too will miss.

Be not burdened... deep with sorrow
I wish you sunshine of tomorrow
My life's been full I've savoured much
Good friends, good times
A loved one's touch

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief
Don't lengthen it now with grief
Lift up your hearts and share with me,
God wants me now... He set me free.

Anonymous

  

Friendship and Sisterhood

Proverbs 17:17 "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."

     I can remember my mom stressing to me the importance of the difference between a friend and an acquaintance. I can remember several pointed conversations that we had about the difference between true friends and people you know, I can remember thinking that she was a little crazy. How could all the people I know not be counted as friends? Why would she warn me to guard my heart against people who I thought were friends? I can see now the lessons she was trying to teach me.

     All my life, I have been told that I was cold and a "witch" but with a b, I have always been brutally honest and that has not helped me shed this impression I make on others. What surprises most people is that under my confident, rough exterior is a heart full of love. 

     I love fiercely. Friends, family, pets, whatever, whoever it is in my heart I love deeply. My family saw this is in me, hence the warnings from my mom. She knew that I opened myself up for heartbreak and she tried to shield me and to teach me to be on my guard. As a child and teenager, her warnings fell on deaf ears. She wanted to show me that not everyone reciprocates the love that I freely hand out, that people would see it as a weakness and exploit that in me. For most of my school career, that is exactly what happened.

      In retrospect, I can see who my true friends were/are. I am still in contact with girls I have known since Brownies and I appreciate them. I have friends that I have reconnected with from high school that I talk to on a regular basis. I have made friends gained sisters in my adulthood that although we have been scattered by the military- I love to this day. These are people who have seen past first impressions and have gotten to know me for who I am. They have met me where I am and accepted me, flaws and all. I give them a lot of credit. I, too, have accepted them where they are and for who they are and I wouldn't change a thing about them. I love them just the way they are!

     When I was in high school,  most of my friends were guys. I like that men don't play games, what you see is (mostly) what you get. You can disagree with them and then go on like nothing happened. Forgive and forget. Girls, not so much! I always felt judged and awkward, knowing that I was not a girly-girl and not one to follow what every one else is doing made me feel set apart. I always had a least one very good girl friend, she usually was a lot like me in that she usually she got along better with guys. Things were fine when I lived in my hometown, it was when we moved 1200 miles away that I really learned some lessons.

     After I was married and had my first son, my husband was transferred to the Las Vegas area. He had a few friends that he had known for about 10 years and I had never met. Long story short, I had my first experience with how mean women could be. (Let me stress, I was no angel!) I can remember calling my mom for support and her telling me that I never learned these lessons when most people do because I always hung around guys in high school. I know it hurt her to know that I was hurting and so far away from her. Finally, I began to make friends of my own and things were great... until my mom was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer. 

     Right before my 29th birthday, I got a call that I needed to come home. I went and learned that my mom's cancer had come back and it was severe. During this time, I received 2 calls from my friends from Las Vegas. They were the last 2 people I ever expected to hear from! I actually turned 29 while I was home. To this day, those 2 ladies hold a special place in my heart. We are sisters, they supported me when I needed friends the most. Out of adversity sisters were born. 

     I don't keep in contact with them as much as I would like but we do keep in contact. I would do anything for these gals. One of them even gave her son my maiden name to honor my mom, a woman she never even met. She did that for me. In the years since, I have found other sisters, women who I love dearly, who have helped me through some pretty low times and who, I hope, I have helped as well. 

     I have a friend here that I consider a sister. She keeps me grounded and she is always here for me no matter what. These friendships are truly irreplaceable. 

     William Shakespeare said it so succinctly, "A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow."

Stand for the Silent

As some of you know, my son has been bullied at his school. He has been bullied on the bus and in the classroom. In response to the bullying happening at his school, his guidance counselor is having the 6th, 7th and 8th grade watch Bully. My son and I just finished watching the movie and my heart is breaking.
It documents the aftermath of two kids who committed suicide and follows three kids who are currently being bullied. It is eye opening. Bullying is a huge issue in our world today! It happens over and over again and sometimes no one listens to the victims. Sometimes the victims do not even bother to tell someone about what is going on. As parents, we must be diligent with our children. We must always be looking for signs that something is amiss. According the website StopBullying.gov here are some of the symptoms:

Signs a Child is Being Bullied 

Look for changes in the child. However, be aware that not all children who are bullied exhibit warning signs.
Some signs that may point to a bullying problem are:

• Unexplainable injuries
• Lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics, or jewelry
• Frequent headaches or stomach aches, feeling sick or faking illness
• Changes in eating habits, like suddenly skipping meals or binge eating. Kids may come home from school hungry because they did not eat lunch.
• Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares
• Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, or not wanting to go to school
• Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social situations
• Feelings of helplessness or decreased self esteem
• Self-destructive behaviors such as running away from home, harming themselves, or talking about suicide

Here are some reasons, according to the website, why some kids do not tell anyone:

• Bullying can make a child feel helpless. Kids may want to handle it on their own to feel in control again. They may fear being seen as weak or a tattletale.
• Kids may fear backlash from the kid who bullied them.
• Bullying can be a humiliating experience. Kids may not want adults to know what is being said about them, whether true or false. They may also fear that adults will judge them or punish them for being weak.
• Kids who are bullied may already feel socially isolated. They may feel like no one cares or could understand.
• Kids may fear being rejected by their peers. Friends can help protect kids from bullying, and kids can fear losing this support.

Also be aware that many kids who are bullied  become bullies themselves. This site also gives info on the signs that your child is bully.

I feel like it is my responsibility to get the word out on how we can prevent this from happening to others.There are many other sources available. (I do have the idea of starting a support group for children and parents who have been bullied or have bullied.) Here is one:

http://www.standforthesilent.org/

 Let's ban together and eradicate this once and for and for all!
May you have a blessed day.

The Blessing of Family

     Wednesday, I had the pleasure of picking up my amazing mother-in-law to spend the holidays with us. This is a woman that I love dearly, I look to her as an example of  a Christian matriarch. She is a great example of motherly love, Godly obedience, patience and unconditional love.
I came to her family tattooed, non-believing, and a touch wild. I love her son fiercely  and that seemed to be enough for her. I worried and had nightmares that the man of my dream's family would hate me and try to convince him to leave me. Oh, how wrong I was.
    My now husband and I had been living together for 4 to 5 months. We were in bliss. I had finally found someone who loved me unconditionally and we got along so well. I have always felt I was difficult to live with but with Craig it was different. He makes me a better person, he tempers my wild streak. I am calmer with him, I am more tolerant and I love much  more freely. My husband was graduating from a military school we call ALS. His parents had come out to attend the ceremony and we were also going to surprise them with the news that I was expecting our first child. I was terrified.
I was everything that my husband was not, younger by 7 years, a little punk rock, a free spirit. a wild child. Upon meeting me there were hugs and kisses, friendly smiles and an openness I was not expecting. We waited a few days and then told them the news, there were tears not tears of regret or bitterness but tears of happiness. They knew that my husband loved me and I loved him. They supported us.
    Sadly 5 years ago my father-in-law passed away. He is missed every single day. His love touched me and changed me in ways that only improved me. His genuine interest in me as another one of his daughters taught me to accept others lovingly as they are, where they are.
    Back to my mother-in-law,we are enjoying her company over the holidays. She is a bundle of energy and patience. On morning I need a little time to fully wake up, I can hear her happily chatting with my youngest son. She teases, and jokes with him. His spirit is lifted with her presence. She encourages and builds up everyone she meets but as family we are granted unlimited access to her love and support. Yes, she is a wonderful example of God's love and forgiveness. Although she may not agree with what we do or how we do it, she loves us anyways. How blessed I am!

Untruths I Have Told Myself in My Christian Life

     I awoke this morning with the intense urge to  get on my knees and pray. I slipped out of my bed and I layed with my head on the floor and asked for God to use me as a vessel for His work and to empty myself of me so that I can pour His mercy and love out to others. I have prayed this many times before but what happened next was amazing!
      I have been being called to delve into the Good Book lately and mostly I have been resistant until today. I open my real life Bible to where I had marked the next book to read months ago after finishing one, it was Ephesians. It is a fairly short book with only six chapters, I prepared myself to read the first one or two but as I began to read I realized that this was written just for me!
     Since I have accepted Christ into my life, I have made many changes. I used to talk like a sailor the F word was my favorite word. Many, many years I dropped it like it like the bomb it is. Even as a born again Christian I have let many a curse word fly out of my mouth. I had been told that I was remade but my old self would creep back in and I would slip into old habits. I didn't really understand what that meant.I knew that I was to be a light in the darkness, that I was to radiate God's love to others. I had yet to read the instruction manual that is neatly tucked away in the back of the Bible. Today, however, I found it.
     I began it as I do with all of my readings, the history bores me so I skim over it. I skim over the introduction, but wait what is this? I like the very  first passage, where is my highlighter? Up I go. Highlighter in hand I have to stop myself or I will have pink pages. I keep reading with delight and then I hit the instructions. Up again I go for a pen and a note pad, this is getting serious. Let me share with you what I have written in my notebook.
            As I am made new in Christ I must change myself from the woman corrupted by my deceitful desires. Therefore I must:

              Speak truthfully

              In anger, do not sin

               Do not let the sun go down while in anger

               Do NOT give the enemy a foothold

               Share with those in need

               Do not let unwholesome talk come out of me

               Speak only what is helpful for building up others as they need to be

               Get rid of all bitterness, rageand anger, brawling and slander, and every form  of    malice

                Be kind, be compassionate

                Forgive others just as Christ God forgives me

                Live a life of love

                Imitate God

                No obscenity, foolish talk or course humor should come out of my mouth instead give thanks

                Do not be deceived by empty words

                Do not allow myself to be lead astray

                Do not be partners with those who will lead you astray

     I realized that I am daily battling for my soul and my salvation. I am constantly being tempted to turn away from God and I hate to admit this, most of the time I allow myself to stray. I am committing to ready myself with the armor of God! I will put on his armor as this is a battle for my soul, for my sons' souls and I have been called to be actively engaged in our salvation. The world we live in, the enemy wants nothing more than to separate us from our loving, merciful God. Will you join me in being on guard of our souls, on guard for our families' souls?

A quick follow up

    Just a few hours after writing and posting about our experience with Zach and bullying, it dawned on me that this could be a teachable moment for him. He just so happened to come downstairs and I asked him if he had been praying at night. He answered that he had, I asked him if he had been praying for the kids who were picking on him and he said yes he had, he doesn't know what is going on in their lives to make them feel the need to act out but it must not be very good or they wouldn't be acting that way. Now I wonder who was teaching who? Not once in all of this did I pray for the kids, nor did I pray for the adults to understand where we were coming from in all of this. I have been humbled. I would love to say that I did that, that I instilled that into my son but that compassion and innate understanding that these are the actions of hurt people, that does not come from me. God did that. I give all the glory to Him.